Rex Gets a Life
by ApparentlyCRAZY
Summary: When Robbie wished for his puppet to be alive he didn't quite know what he was getting into. So he is suitably surprised when his new 'brother' turns his life thoroughly upside-down, side-ways, and spun-backwards. Cabbie probably , Bade definitely R


***Note- Title is a work in progress so don't be surprised if it changes. Suggestions are welcome. Ok I am listening to Slacker Radio right now and I made a station called OneRepublic radio. I was listening to that while I wrote this and it got me in the mood so if you want to listen to that while you read feel free. Right now I am listening to…Boundaries by Kris Allen. I really don't know how that guy one American Idol even if Adam Lambert was gay he was a ten times better singer. But whatever C'est la vie! Anyways if you've never been to Slacker dot com before it is definitely recommended. As is theSlap dot com since I will probably be writing up couple of blogs for that at some point during the story. Read on please! I will speak to you at the end of the page!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious! Never will! Never have! Would I like to? Not really…too much stress I say ;) !ON TO THE READING!**

**Prologue: A Fluke, Trick of Light, and Sheer Dumb Luck**

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Music bleared noisily from the red bricked house and the ground actually shook from the vibrations of the bass. Drunken, horny, and high teenagers stumbled out from the front and side doors, either attached at the hips or attached at the lips. Some were laughing obnoxiously while others were sobbing loudly. Many of them had better things to do with their mouths and tongues and they demonstrated several of those things boldly on the sidewalks and lawns of the home. These adolescents had the time of their lies while the neighbors cursed their generation and their more responsible friends slept. They had no care in the world, other than when the next party was, and they made sure to prove that by their actions. They did not know, nor care, about how much the boy forty feet up the street wanted to join them and it made no difference to them if he did. However this particular boy was absolutely convinced that this party would change his life. If only he could work up the courage to get there.

"I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I really can't do this…" Robbie Shapiro whispered fearfully to himself as he paced in a seemingly endless circle. The streetlight above him flickered in an out of existence as if channelling his indecision. However the puppet in his arms seemed to have already made this decision for him.

"You're right, you can't. You do not have the guts to go into that party Robbie and you probably will. Why? Because you're a two-pint, no-balls, make-up wearing, puppet carrying, pansy Robbie." The boy nodded vigorously through the accusations before vaguely wondering if he should be offended. "But you're going to get in there-" The boy gave his puppet a look of disbelief. "Yes, you Shapiro don't be a dumb-ass! Who else could I be talking to? As I was friggin saying you're gonna go in there so that I can eventually, one day, stop calling you that. Well I'll probably never stop calling you that but maybe, just _maybe_, I'll drop the no-balls part. _Maybe_!"

The boy stared at his puppet in slight shock at the offer. At the puppet's growl of annoyance he promptly clicked his mouth shut though his though his eyes still bulged.

"Really?" Robbie asked breathlessly. The puppet rolled his head in a circle instead of rolling the plastic eyes glued firmly into his head.

"Well I wish I could freaking take it back now but, yes really, alright? I am sick and tired of you spending every night at home watching Oprah, of you making weird and, honestly, _pathetic_ advances on girls, and most of all I am sick of having to spend every single waking moment with you! I hate to admit, and I mean _really_ hate to admit it but you're my best friend Robbie, and I care about you." The puppet shuddered in disgust before gathering itself. "So for the sake of all that is holy get a damn life man! Did you hear what I said before? You're best friend is a _puppet_, Robbie. This is not even freaking near normal! Do understand me?"

"Rex…"Robbie whispered softly, tears gathering in his eyes. "That's the first time you've ever called me your friend. And that you cared about me! Aw Rex-"

"Robbie if you hug me I swear to god I will _shank_ you. I don't fucking care if I'm a puppet _I will find a way_, do you get me?" The boy paled and nodded vigorously while the puppet sneered at him. "Now get out my face you wimp. Put me down into that bush. Despite how cool I am I don't really think it's a good idea to bring your puppet to your first senior party. Especially when you're not a senior."

Robbie gingerly set Rex into the bushes and rearranged him until he felt that he was comfortable. He smiled fondly at the puppet, his puppet, who was also his best and closest friend. He gave the puppet a nervous grin as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

"Thanks Rex. I needed that. Wish me luck." Robbie smiled happily despite the fact that the now limp puppet gave no reply. Taking a deep breath of crisp night air the boy started off towards the blaring music of the red bricked house.

oOo

Rex was picked up swiftly as Robbie continued to sprint away from the taunting laughter of the red bricked house. The puppet 'jolted awake' and stared at his friend in shock.

"Wha-? Robbie! What the hell was that for? And why are you- why are you naked! When I said get a life I didn't mean go streaking! And don't you have the good sense to streak with a girl? It's no fun…by yourself…" Rex slowly drifted off as he took in the contorted face of his friend, scrunched up in a way that suggested he was desperately holding back tears. "Hey are you okay man?"

Instead of answering Robbie merely ducked his head and sprinted faster, trying his best to blend into the shadows. He ran through alleys, between houses, and in the shadows of restaurants until finally he stood underneath a small arch at the entrance of a park. It seemed as if the grass was greener here, the air was fresher here, and the moon was brighter at this exact spot. The park gave off the sort of ethereal glow and Robbie basked in it for a moment before speed walking to the center of the small paradise. Directly in the center was a large fountain, with a strange center piece of what could only be assumed to be Pinocchio and the puppeteer. The fountain was surrounded by stone benches and was paved with light grey bricks while within the structure waters were what seemed like a thousand glistening pennies, nickels, and dimes.

Robbie sat gingerly on the ledge of the fountain, grimacing at the feel of the cold stone against his naked behind. His face burned with shame and all was silent while he sat with his thoughts. Eventually Robbie let out a soft shudder at the cold of the night but eventually it started shaking for a different reason. Rex turned his head towards his companion and sighed in frustration.

"Men don't cry Robbie. What, do you want to disgrace me as your best friend?" Despite his harsh words the puppets tone was soft with sympathy and the boy only sobbed harder.

"Th-th-the party didn't g-go well…" Robbie stuttered through tears. Rex nodded curtly as he looked at his friend.

"Yeah I kinda guessed that when you ran out naked. Without a girl. Or even a guy. Not that you swing that way but you know…it would've been more interesting." Rex said with a shrug. Robbie chuckled weakly before sniffling. After a couple of more loud sniffs he rubbed the back of his hand over his wet face. After a few deep breaths he fell silent again before speaking.

"Cat was there." Robbie said softly. Rex hummed softly in reply so Robbie continued. "She...was on something. I don't know. She was still Cat but…more…forward? More pushy? Anyway when I said no she got really upset and left the party. After she left a whole bunch of her jock friends took my close and kicked me out. I had to run through the whole house with no close on and it was humiliating…"

It was silent for a few moments as Rex digested the information. The puppet's jaw was slack with apparent shock.

"You said no? Are you an idiot?" Rex exclaimed. When Robbie sputtered in reply Rex growled with annoyance. "Exactly when do you think you're going to have another chance to get that close to sleeping with a girl? Never! Or at least not until you're like forty? Yet when the pretty girl who you've been lusting after for two years _throws_ herself at you, you chose to be freaking _noble_? What is _WRONG_ with you? Huh? Are you touched in the head or something? Please Robbie; please explain the workings of your brain to me because I really don't understand. Is there even a brain under all that fro?"

Robbie gaped for a few moments, his mouth opening and closing silently as he struggled for words. After about a minute he gave a frustrated sigh.

"She didn't know what she was doing! It wouldn't be right to say yes! I did the right thing! Why does nobody get that?" Robbie yelled angrily.

"Okay first of all, don't yell at me. Second of all, Cat was high, not drunk Robbie. She may have been hallucinating like crazy and buzzing like a bumble bee but she had to have had a pretty good idea what she was doing. If she saw you and she recognized you and then jumped you and said your name while doing it then she must have some inkling of feelings for you. Even if they're just slightly higher than platonic. But now that you've rejected her, knowing that crazy airhead, she'll probably forget the whole ordeal or at least pretend to, just to save herself the embarrassment. Or maybe she'll pretend you really did go all the way and latch herself onto like a really bad wart. Or maybe she'll pretend she doesn't remember, and then come to you three months later saying she's knocked up and that you're the father. Or maybe-" Robbie cut Rex's speculations off.

"Oh come on Rex, Cat isn't that bad! She's not crazy!" Robbie declared passionately. Rex snorted. "Really she isn't! And I'll actually be glad if she doesn't remember anything because I… I'm not sure if…."

"Oh don't tell me your little pansy feelings now are you?" Rex asked passively expecting immediate denial. However Robbie merely winced and avoided his gaze. "Oh for the love of Pete! Robbie, don't tell me you're that guy?"

"What guy?" Robbie asked softly. Rex glared at him.

"That guy who stops liking a girl because she's not as perfect as he thought he was. That kind of guy who finds out the 'love of his life' isn't a virgin so he tosses her away like last week's lunch. That kind of pansy, cowardly, bastard who goes and pisses himself just because the girl he's been in love with for two years take a bit of ecstasy! Or smokes a bit of weed! God, Robbie that's normal teenage behaviour! You're supposed to try these things at least once! Cat's normal! You're the one that not! Don't just…just start _scorning_ her just because she's not the freaking Virgin Saint of Gryffindor! It's stupid!"

Robbie blinked in surprise as he stared at Rex. He opened his mouth only to snap it shut. After a moment of thought he spoke.

"Virgin Saint of Gryffindor?" He asked shortly.

"Seriously?" Rex said in disbelief. "That's all you got from that? Seriously?"

"No, no sorry um…it's just I thought you didn't like Cat?" Robbie asked in confusion. Rex snorted.

"Are you kidding? I hate the annoying little artificial-ginger. It doesn't surprise me that she's on drugs. No one could be that irritating all the time without some help from a higher power. I just didn't expect that higher power to be a drug lord but honestly…it's fitting. Can't say I'm shocked." Rex said with a shrug. Robbie gaped at his puppet in confusion.

"Then…then why did you stand up for her?" He stuttered.

"You were pissing me off! Every day for the past two years I had to hear about _absolutely-wonderfully-fantastic_ Cat Valentine was! I will not allow you to pass through life without getting to second base with that girl! Do you understand me? I will not allow my suffering to be for nothing!" Rex shouted in frustration. Robbie flinched and nodded eagerly in reply before his lips twitched slightly. He first snorted out nothing but a soft chuckle but before long he was shaking with riotous laughter. The noise cut through the silence and the coins with the fountain seemed to glow brighter. Once the laughter died down to mere chuckles he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and looked fondly at the puppet in his hands.

"Oh Rex," He said gently as he brushed a leaf from the puppets curly hair. "I wish you were real buddy. Then maybe I wouldn't have to talk to myself so often." Robbie chuckled softly again before his eyes drooped with sadness. "But you were right about one thing though. My best friend's a puppet. And if we were being honest my best friend's is really just me talking through a puppet in a deeper voice and more urban accent. It's stupid. It really isn't normal."

Robbie sighed softly through his nose, his eyes boring into his lap. After a moment of silence he looked up with determination in his eyes.

"I have to move on in life Rex. I can't just keep being that guy with the puppet all my life! I have to get a life, you said so yourself! Or….or I said so. Or- wow this is confusing. Anyways you know what I mean right? Honestly it's not you, you've always been there for me ever since I was a kid, but it's me! I need to stop being the kid with the puppet and grow up into Robbie Shapiro: The Man. The Actor. And…I can't do that with you around." Robbie sighed in slight frustration as tears gathered in his eyes. Clearing his throat he got up and took his hand out of the puppets' back, leaving the doll limp. Placing his hands underneath the puppets head and back he slowly set it into the fountain, beneath the water, and among the glistening coins. Taking his hands out he wiped them futilely on his bare thighs as he attempted to take deep breathes.

"Someone will find you in the morning." Robbie managed to choke out. "Maybe a kid or something. Maybe you'll get a new life with a new voice and a new, cooler, more popular kid. Maybe. You never know."

Swallowing past the lump in his throat Robbie took a hesitant step back from the fountain and towards the arch that led out of the park.

"Goodbye Rex." He whispered as he inched away. "I'll…I'll never forget you."

And with that Robbie turned his back on the best friend he had ever had.

However the moment the boy turned around the moon peeked out from the clowd it had been behind. The moon shone brightly, more brightly than it had all night, and cast its glow down on the fountain, and coincidently the puppet inside it. the moonlight danced over the stone of the fountain and the water sparkled. It was a beautiful sight the boy missed and thatr would have been all that he had missed if it hadn't have been for one small detail.

Pinocchio's eyes twinkled.

Now Robbie didn't know this but that party did change his life. If Robbie Shapiro had decided to turn around and not go to that party then he would have never ended up at this park on this night. If he didn't go to the party he would have went home, watched some Oprah with his puppet and eaten Ben and Jerry's ice cream. If Robbie Shapiro hadn't had gone to that party,

What happened next probably would never have occurred.

"Oi!"

Robbie froze mid-step, eyes widened in both shock and fright. As far as he was concerned no one had been in this park. He had been completely alone with his puppet so no one could be her. Unless they were the jocks coming after him to finish the job. Or they were a cop. Public nudity was a criminal offense after all. His heart rate jolted at the thought that he may be caught by Tori's father of all people!

"Hey! You two-pint, no-balls, make-up wearing, puppet-carrying Pansy! I'm talking to you! Yo!"

Robbie's body stiffened. Who exactly could have heard Rex call him that? Were the jock following him? Or did he have a stalker?

"Hellooooooo?"

Robbie heard a small frustrated noise come from behind him followed by an irritated cluck of a tongue. He then heard a mumble that sounded suspiciously like 'fuck this' before he was suddenly assaulted by a dozen wet coins.

"Ow!" Robbie yelped as he turned around to face his attacker and was shocked to see a boy as naked as him sitting within the fountain. The boy had wet, curly, dark brown hair and dark brown eyes as well. His skin had slightly olive tones but it might have just been tan. It was hard to tell in the dark. The only thing he could be absolutely sure of was that the boy's scowl could absolutely without a doubt rival that of Jade West.

"I hope that'll teach you to friggin ignore someone when they're talking to you! And by the way, exactly who," The boy paused to blow a damp curl out of his eyes. "Did you think you were leaving behind, you asshole? What the hell is wrong with you? What if someone trashed me? Or Jade found me, for fuck's sake! Were you even thinking at all or does all that hair go straight through your skull to make a nest for the birds?"

Robbie's heart thudded painfully in his chest, throat, and finger tips as her watched the boy's scowl deepen, his annoyance apparent. The boy had a slightly urban accent a small scar on his eyebrow that was strangely in the same place as a certain scratch of a certain puppet of his. He stumbled a step back as he tried to reject what he was seeing. He must have finally cracked, he thought.

"No, no, no, no, you-you can't…" Robbie stuttered, visibly distressed. "It's not possible…it can't…you can't…you're not. You're not! You're not Rex! You can't be!"

The Rex-look-alike blinked before giving Robbie a look of innocence.

"Of course I'm not!" He said slowly. Robbie's ears perked up and he stared at the boy, holding his breath. "Haven't you heard Robs? I'm the fucking Tooth Fairy."

It was definitely Rex. Robbie started hyperventilating.

Now, for years, Robbie would wonder how this happened. Why it happened. What exactly happened. And after years of deliberation the only answer that made even a lick of sense was that it didn't make sense.

It was a fluke that they happened to be in the right place at the right time.

It was a trick of light. That was the only way Rex could explain what he saw before he transformed.

And finally it was utter sheer dumb luck that Robbie was stupid enough to believe putting an antique puppet into dirty fountain water was a good idea.

This was the party that changed their lives. Though to be honest there was very little partying going on

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**And that's that! This is my second Victorious story but the one –gasp- has an actual plot! Isn't it exciting? I hope you enjoyed the prologue because I am actually starting the next chapter! I don't know when I'll post this but I do know that this was finished on Thursday, September…8****th**** I think and 2011 of course and it is hmmm… 8:14 pm! I've been thinking about this fic for a while now but only started it yesterday which was the 7****th**** I believe and I had a lot of fun writing Rex and not censoring him which I am sure Dan Schneider has doing. With Rex's attitude I would think he would curse a bit but it is a kid show so Dan's cutting him off. Now that I think about it Sam Puckette seems like the type to swear too…hmmm. Well anyways I believe I will have a lot of fun writing this and exploring the characters…I would tell you the ones' I'm looking forward to ripping into the most but I think It might give away some pairings and such so I will save that for later. Yes, in my story Cat is on drugs but she is not addicted mind you. I just believe that while Cat is incredibly cheerful and probably that way naturally she certainly likes to party as she has previously demonstrated (I think the episode was called Survival of The Hottest? Or something along those lines) and that she is quite the dater (uummm the episode when Cat is dating Tori ex? It explains how she has had several boyfriends and goes through them in rather short time spans. And on her Slap page she said that her boyfriend's mad at her because she failed to show up to Valentine's day dinner but Cat merely said she forgot she was dating him. So….think of that what you will) so I will be basing a bit of her background on that. I just finished watching Locked Up so any facts that have been made after that episode will not be reiterated into this chapter of the next one which I am about to start….that is if I have time…school's started and I should go to bed soon….hmmm well! Da da da da da ummm well this story will probably be Cabbie. I myself am disappointed with that because I'm a bit of a Candre fan but Cabbie is cute so I'll live. However if you want Candre please vote for it in a review! I can and will put Robbie with someone else if you want it. I will not change Rex's pairing though. I actually like that one so…it's staying :] well I think I've talked your ears off enough! Or would that be your eyes off? Haha never mind and goodnight! (Or maybe it's good morning for you? Good afternoon? Kanichiwa? Ciao!)**

**CRAZY**


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